Because I'm gonna put my nut sack on your drum set. Where you going?"īrennan: "I'm going upstairs. Ing touched my drum set, 'cause I know Cops doesn't start till 4. And I wanna hear that dirty little mouth admit it."īrennan: "You get out of my face, or I'm gonna roundhouse your ass."ĭale: "You swear on your mom's life that you didn't touch it then!"īrennan: "I don't have to swear to shit!" Ing crazy, man? You sound insane, do you realize that? You should be medicated." Because I didn't touch 'em."ĭale: "I know you touched my drumstick, because the left one has a chip in it." Did you touch my drum set?"ĭale: "It's just weird 'cause seems like someone definitely touched my drum set."īrennan: "Yeah, that is weird.
As soon as your eyes shut, I'm gonna punch you square in the face."ĭale: "I hope you stay still when you sleep, because I'm putting a rat trap between your legs."īrennan: "I'm gonna take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you."īrennan: "No way, kemosabe, this is my house now."ĭale: "Hey, man. You're a big, fat, curly-headed bleepīrennan: "Yeah. This is a house of learned doctors."īrennan: "You're not a doctor. We're going to my room."ĭale: "You and your mom are hillbillies. Okay? And this is the one rule of the house: Don't ever, ever, ever. This is my office and my beat laboratory. Ho, ho! You see this room?"ĭale: "Okay, here's the deal. Uh, house was built in 1825 by General Custer. That's so funny, the last time I head that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur."ĭale: "If there's any foods that you like, I suggest you put your name on them, or they will be thrown out. "'.If you can't sing, just sit down.' That's our motto."ĭale: "Ha, ha. Mom and Dad aren't here."ĭale and Brennan call each other out on their problems "Hey, you know, we don't have to whisper anymore. Robert directly blames Dale and Brennan for his and Nancy's divorce ".Want to know what I got - a crushed soul. ".What do any of us do to deserve anything?." ".She's not your girlfriend, she's your therapist." "Uh, that's a very nice sweater you're wearing.
The beginning of Dale and Brennan's pitch for "Prestige Worldwide"
Robert: "Stop it, Dale! Stop it! Stop it!" Dale imitates the plot of the movie Good Will Hunting for his first therapy sessionīrennan falls in love with his therapist at first sight, but she does not feel the same way about him
(singing) If you wanna get down on these hairy balls."ĭale: ".Why don't you jump right in?."ĭale: ".It's a crotch party right up in here."ĭale: ".Why don't you lick on this big joint?" Nancy: "So, Dale, what have you been working on recently?"ĭale: "I can sing too. But one time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with by bare hands." There should be no ranking system for toughness. Read it and weep."ĭale: "I don't believe in belts. Nancy: "Dale was telling me that he's really into kung fu and I was telling him that you're really into kung fu as well."īrennan: "I have a green belt. ".You can just call me 'Dragon.' You have to call me 'Knight Huff.'" But you have to call me Dragon."īrennan: "You have to call me Nighthawk." ".I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins." (He has a donut in his right hand)"ĭale: "I'm Dale. He's testing you to see how much he can get away with?" Could you make me a grilled-cheese sandwich?" ".Me and my dad decided that your mom was really hot and maybe we should just both bang her, and we'll put up with the retard in the meantime."ĭale: "Hey, Nancy. ".I've been called 'The Songbird of My Generation' by people who have heard me."ĭale had dropped out of college in hopes of becoming a medical doctor, like Robert!? There should be no ranking system for toughness."
I've had the old bull, now I want the young calf.' And she grabs me by the wiener." And she takes one look at me, and she goes: 'Oh, my god. I've got a luscious V of hair going from my chest pubes down to my ball-fro. Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. "My dad's king of the castle, so if he wants fancy sauce."ĭale: "Alright, here's a scenario for you, Dad. because I'll drop that motherbleepĮr" ".Which eliminates the need to put your face between those breasts." I would not expect you to call him Dad."īrennan: "Well, I'm not going to, ever, even if there's a fire! Robert better not get in my face. Nancy Huff (Mary Steenburgen): "Brennan, you're 39 years old. Brennan Huff (Will Ferrell): "I didn't want salmon! I said it four times!"